My Breakup With Facebook

 

I had rarely ever considered ditching Facebook. While I had seen others do it, I either shrugged at their luddite ways or else felt saddened at the lack of ability to now interface with them. The idea of having to share myself on Facebook and then do it yet again multiple times outside Facebook just to reach those few people was simply not  acceptable. It short-circuited my efficiency routines. If you care about what's going on in my life, then follow my Facebook! I'm not going to message each person individually simply because they chose not to care. And how can I follow them? I felt as if they were ditching me.

Facebook had also become a habit for me. I was not particularly concerned, however, as I did not really see how it hindered my life at all. I would open my phone to check an email and the first thing my thumb would do is click the Facebook app. After reading a few posts, I would put my phone away only to realize I never did check my email. On slow days, I would read through all the posts on Facebook, sigh at nothing better to do, exit Facebook, and then see once again the icon on my home page which autonomously forced my thumb to click it yet again. I had just exited the app, and yet now my thumb is opening it back up again! Silly thumb. I mostly brushed it off as humorous and gave it no second thought for how it was affecting my life. Sure, I had read that it affected many other people's lives, but it wasn't really doing anything for mine. Or so I thought. 

It wasn't really all that apparent what Facebook was doing to me. I engaged, I shared myself, I gave and received advice, I learned things, and it overall seemed like a great thing to be a part of. Sure, there were a few trolls here and there, but I learned how to ignore them and I became rather fond of the block and unfollow options. I thought I could simply cater my experience to keep it pleasant and joyful. I worried that I might be missing out on other sides of topics and creating my own little bubble, but in the end it was worth it to keep my sanity by being selective with my interactions. I kind of felt like a Facebook-using master. This is why I always chuckled at people who said it was toxic. They simply didn't know how to shape it to their benefit like me.

Well, kind of out the blue, I one day decided to do away with Facebook. I had been contemplating the idea as I began to notice that indeed energy was being spent on it. My life energy. It was something I put actual effort into and most of the time for very little payback. So I thought, heck, why not give it a shot? I chose to not open it, not engage, and simply do other things with my life. Even just sitting outside held a million times more enjoyment than post-scrolling. At first I didn't notice too much difference in my life, but I did realize that I didn't really miss it. I went and uninstalled the app from my phone just to make it easier and I went another day or two with no regrets. I logged in on my PC once in order to communicate with someone on Messenger and I had no alerts worth mentioning. It seemed my presence wasn't particularly sought after if I was not personally engaging. Facebook didn't miss me any more than I missed it.

And so, I've continued on without it. There have been a few moments where something cool would happen, like seeing a blue heron in our pond for the first time, and I would be a bit antsy to share it with someone. But, without Facebook, who would I share it with? And how? Out of nowhere, an idea came to me... I could share it with my immediate family: my wife and kids. No one else really needed to know. And why not be excited about events with them rather than with my phone? Like an epiphany, it occurred to me the difference between Facebook and real life. Throwing my life out there for hundreds to see is not very personal. Nobody feels like they are a part of my life simply because they see me post a few things. And I don't feel like I'm a part of their lives either. Facebook takes everything good about who we are and spreads it so thin that it lacks all potency. We become but dust in an electronic world. Worse yet, dust for dousing with ads.

In short, it is so much better to share something fun with one select individual than with the world. That one individual knows that you sought them out and decided they were the one worth your time and effort to share that particular story with. It's personal. It's engaging. It builds an actual relationship. And over time, I have noticed that I have so much more will-power and energy. Perhaps it's just the honeymoon of trying something new, but I am really thinking I like life just a tad bit more without Facebook. I may not receive as much in the way of news, but what good did that ever do me anyway? I am more at peace. I am less burdened. I can now focus on what is before me. I just might keep it this way. Facebook, we are through. You are a bad influence and you are terribly needy. It is time we go our separate ways.